The Joneses

By Siobhan Dixon

The website is called Two Black Girls at the Movies––the emphasis for the moment on “Black” and not “the Movies.” That being said, it should come as no surprise that the submission of this blog comes a week late. I am Black; therefore, I am genetically predisposed to operate on “CP Time,” i.e. “Colored People Time” for those who are unfamiliar with the term.

Perhaps my internal clock is aligned with the rising and setting of the sun in West Africa, but yes, I leave my house at 12:30 a.m. for the club and yes, without fail Dana tells me the movie starts 15 minutes before it actually does. (Don’t think I didn’t notice!) Now that I’ve given my disclaimer for what will surely be habitual tardiness with my weekly reviews, let us move on to the latter and more important of the two earlier points––“the Movies!”

Once in a blue moon, phenomenally rare occurrences leave us speechless, like a solar eclipse or the blind man whose sight returned after having a tooth implanted in his eye. (Look it up people. That really happened.) In Hollywood, these anomalies come in only a few forms, the rarest being when a starlet allows herself to age gracefully, and even more astounding, naturally!

When it’s semi-normal that a 23-year-old woman undergoes 10 plastic surgery procedures in one day, veteran actress, Demi Moore proves she’s still got the aesthetic beauty and acting chops to hang with whose left of young Hollywood.

Although it feels like we haven’t seen Moore in a leading role since the 90s, she picks up right where she left off in The Joneses. Reminiscent of memorable characters she played in films such as Disclosure and Striptease, Moore plays Kate Jones, a sexy, business-minded, and emotionally-detached sales agent of sorts.

The Joneses are a carefully constructed family employed by a marketing company to create a seemingly utopian lifestyle. Placed in a posh suburban gated community, the primary objective of the employees is to persuade those around them to purchase specific high-end products.

The film’s storyline is smart and thought-provoking, albeit slightly out of context and unrealistic during a recession. But as Oscar Wilde wrote, “Life imitates Art far more than Art imitates Life.” And as Dana and I watched the film, we found ourselves admiring the home décor, drooling over the sports cars, and literally asking, “Damn! Who is the wardrobe stylist for this film?” The image of Moore in a leopard print three-quarter length dress is still emblazoned in my mind and has me determined to find out where I can get it! Or at least a cheap knockoff from Forever21.

It’s only in retrospect that I realize the rest of the family is essentially composed of stock characters. David Duchovny takes a break from his usual womanizing self (both fictional and factual), to play the husband, Steve Jones, the newbie to the business who struggles to separate work from reality. Of course, he also finds himself in awe of Moore.

The characters become even more simplified with––surprise, surprise––the whorish teenage daughter with Daddy issues who sleeps with different middle-aged men on every assignment and the older teenage son who fronts as the handsome jock, but is secretly gay.

Overall, The Joneses is a humorous and engaging hyperbole of Western consumerism––A White version of the Bling Bling epidemic. However, unlike poor Black people who are experts at profiling and living beyond our means, the film shows us that White people can’t handle the pressures of trying to keep up with the Joneses.

In the end, the film unravels in the most clichéd ways. (Spoiler Alert!) One neighbor bankrupts his family in order to buy an expensive car in hopes of impressing Steve and then commits suicide. Then we have the classic fourth act scene where the entire neighborhood gathers in the street while Duchovny over-dramatically confesses that he and his fake family are employees of marketing organization. Perhaps most corny is that Man-eating Moore decides to abandon her shady (and successful) career, for real love with Duchovny.

While there’s no sunset, but instead dusk, the film closes with the two love birds driving off into the distance. Considering both characters are now unemployed and get some street cred for their experience in underhanded occupations, they might want to head over to the other side of town so we can show them how keeping up with the Joneses is really done.

Rating: No cocktails needed